Sunday, January 29, 2012

Words of Wisdom Regarding "The Ladies"

I just read this and felt the need to share. I'm turning 46 in February. If you aren't in your forties yet, it's definitely a decade to look forward to. 40's rock!

Andy Rooney on Women Over Forty
By: Veronica Kavanagh (View Profile)
Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.

A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I am THAT driver.

I do not, and will never, deny the fact that I am a very paranoid driver and passenger when road conditions are questionable. Combine that with a daily commute from Au Sable Forks to Lake Placid, and you have a sad situation. Add the fact that I was a passenger in the car that did this...

...and you have a person that often needs to ride shotgun with her eyes closed if the roads are bad.

The last few days of driving have been quite challenging for me. Last Friday we had slush dropping from the sky most of the day followed by flash freezing. Tuesday was rain, sleet and freezing rain, and Wednesday morning was the day of widespread black ice according to NCPR. No problem. I'll just drive slowly. That's the safest way to drive, right? It took me one hour and 15 minutes to get home from Lake Placid on Friday, and I'm not embarrassed by that in the least. I figure that for every driver behind me that was swearing at me there was one that was singing my praises for driving at such a safe speed.

What's my problem? It's the brainless twits who think that they're invincible and feel the need to ride my ass! Here's my message to those folks... BACK OFF! Put on some good tunes, sit back and enjoy the ride. I'll see you at the stop light near Robo because chances are, you're going to get stuck behind some other person who is as paranoid as I am.

Thanks for listening.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Goal Mastered Yet Again

Let me start out with a big HAPPY NEW YEAR! Last night was a very calm, enjoyable one for us. I'm getting ahead of myself though....

Drifunkmas 2011 came to a close on December 29th. We tested 12 different drinks over 12 days. I have to give a big shout out to my good friend Carol. She was the one who challenged me with this glorious task last year. I miss Carol. She fell victim to budget cuts at our school last year and her daily wit and perspective is greatly missed. Mike and I will continue to celebrate Drifunkmas yearly in her honor. Arrrrrrrrh!!
Carol recognizes the importance of Drifunkmas and made a donation of Goldschlager and Three Olives Triple Shot Espresso Vodka for one of the nights. We decided to save it for night #12. Carol is a huge Packers fan, whereas the Kirchner household just loves the Steelers. Do you see where I'm going here? Packers? Steelers? Superbowl? To make matters even more interesting, Carol's family decided that she needed to own stock in the Green Bay Packers. That's what she got for Christmas! Since the Steelers don't sell stock in the team, we decided drinking was the best we could do in support of our team.

Black and Gold Martini

2 oz. Three Olives Triple Shot Espresso Vodka
1/2 oz. Goldschlager

Add to shaker filled with ice. Shake and pour into martini glasses.

I must admit that we totally made this one up. Upon first taste, I was quite pleased with the flavor. Mike appeared to be as well, although he said that less Goldschlager would have been better. After a few sips it started to get a little syrupy. Towards the end it was a downright challenge to finish it. This definitely should have been a shot. As I said, upon first taste I was pleased with the flavor. It definitely would have been beneficial to enjoy a quick, spicy taste of this rather than a slow, syrupy one. We decided that each of the liquors would be better without any additives. Mike struggled to finish his and only rated it a 4. I gave it a 6, but as a shot I would probably give it an 8.

With the 12 Days of Drifunkmas over, it was time to return to our tried and true drinks. Mike with his "No Fashion" and me with my slightly dirty vodka martini.

That brings us to New Year's Eve. We were fortunate enough to be invited to Dave and Jean's for dinner with the crew from Big Boss Sausage for macaroni and cheese and chili. We just love going to Dave and Jean's. They are totally set up for entertaining, and they have a great knack for making people feel right at home. As usual, there was a ton of food and a roaring campfire. It was extremely relaxing and fun, but we ate wayyyyy too much!

It certainly looks as though my Individualized Entertainment Plan continues to be working for me. I don't think that there is any need to increase my level of services at this time. Happy New Year!